Tonight as I was cuddling up with my son as he drifted to sleep. My mind wandered on this point. Can I just be your Mommy sometimes? Not your teacher, protector, disciplinarian, philosopher, energetic channel, cook, maid, or any of the other hats we wear “as mommies”. I just want to cuddle and be. Feel the love and connection between us and that is it. Not worry about keeping a roof over your head, being a good wife to your daddy, being accepted for my beliefs and values by everyone, taking strides towards health and financial freedom.
I carry a lot on my shoulders and mind each day. But sometimes I just want to be your Mommy. Even though the last time that I had that opportunity, I was overwhelmed and still so new at this role that my mind played tricks on me and the chemicals took over. What I would give to have those three months to spend with you now. But that is the ultimate goal for me on this journey to financial peace. So I can spend more time being your Mommy. So I can give myself a break and some freeing energy to just be, and not he it all.
I love being your Mommy. It is my favorite role to be. Days like today where I only saw you awake for less than 5 minutes, really get to the bigger picture of things.
There will be a day where I can just be your Mommy when I want to be without all the other obligations. I promise.
I love you, munchkin.